Cheesy!

Alright, so I was flipping through the channels the other night and I stumbled across TBN (Trinity Broadcast Network), which I will forever now refer to as "The Blasphemer's Network". I could not help but laugh and be in shock at the same time. They had the most ridiculous group of people on, representing the network, telling people that they needed to call and pledge support because God told them that TBN was suppose to be the "Biggest Network in Television". This one idiot was standing there with a tape measure claiming that we have been putting limits on God and our Finances by trying to measure both and that as Christians we would only be "blessed" when TBN became bigger then CBS. Now that got me thinking, maybe if TBN produced shows like JCSI where Jesus comes back to earth to solve murder mysteries, or Lost (and Found) where a plane crashes on a island inhabited by Missionaries, then maybe it would be worth watching instead of some blathering moron waving a tape measure around claiming that God demonstrated a sign because when he let the tape measure go it retracted like our limit of God retracts when we let Him go.

Then, there was the other clanging gong who couldn't even complete a thought before he moved on to the next story about Ma Belle who gave the church her only 50 bucks only to have God give her 500. He mentioned something about a flood in his 20 million dollar Sanctuary and a floating offering basket in a church that he visited that was effected by Katrina that he stole and had his church fill with money. Then some tangent about people giving in numbers that had 6 in them because God operates in 6's. Then of course there were hoards of people behind tweedle dee and tweedle dumb nodding and raising their hands in agreement.

The thing that shocked me the most was at the top of the screen there was an indicator of how many operators were busy and available and of course all 208 operators were busy. Now what I want to know is, who the heck is dumb enough to fall for this bit. I thought the PBS goons were bad, but at least they give you over-priced crap when you pledge instead of empty promises that God is going to give you more in return.

Wait, I'm sorry. I am suppose to be working on my sarcasm and cynicism. While I have been sitting here typing and thinking I have also been playing with some paperclips and a miracle has taken place. They are all in the shape of shepherd's staffs, to indicate that the Good Shepherd is with me. If you send me all the money you have, I will give you one of these paperclips and your life will never be the same (and either will mine). Please only send cash!

Neviusology 301